Monday, June 23, 2008
eventful week?
i wish i could say it in a more positive light.
guess eventful should be tilting more the other direction.
maybe it's always the in the middle of the night thingy.
i know i'm suppose to be preparing my sermon which i'm suppose to be preaching in a few hours time. but sharks i cant concentrate to find my content. still, special thanks to naddie and jianda for being part of my formulation of my pointers.
argh.
i'm feeling really restless.
i feel like i'm shortchanging myself.
i feel like doing smth but yet i have no idea what i want to do.
i still need that outlet.
and i guess it's really times like this that i wish for smth more than what i'm given.
maybe i need one more week of being on my own.
(i had bout 5 days of it already.) but honestly it's really hard to just shut off. (other than the one whom i wanted to thank for making my day but ending up ruining it even worse later) i know that some people still do care, and that they want to know what's going on so as to be supportive. though i gave many a cold shoulder, still thanks and sorry to the many that tried to be encouraging. i really needed the time alone.
i wouldnt say i'm not feeling released after saying all that i've said. i've really come to some point where i'm assured that ministry isnt going to be a factor that should keep me from going overseas. but i still somehow feel that there should have been smth more to just that 3hours(?) of talking. i should have come to a consensus of agreement inside of me, but somehow there's still that churning of thoughts within. i guess naddie put it across perfectly. it's like closing the door but keeping the window open.
but anyway, kungfu panda iz a really good show (: i've watched it but i wouldnt spoil it for those who haven. so go catch it. it's got a thousand and one values to learn from and i wouldnt mind buying the show when it comes out in the stores. one thing really struck me was the knowing that different people has to undergo trainings from different ways. all in all according to who they are. bwaha (: custom made to fit individuals, only den will it be effective.
"There's a story about a group of Chinese men walking through the woods beside a rushing river. Suddenly, they spotted the body of an old man bobbing up and down in the roaring rapids.
"Thinking the old man was dead, they ran to the river's edge trying to figure out how they were going to fish the body out of the water so that it wouldn't be swept out to sea. Their discussion came to an abrupt halt when the old man, who they had thought was dead, emerged out of the water, dried himself off and started walking away. The men ran after the old man and asked, 'How did you survive in that water? No one could swim in that water without being killed.'
"It is really easy,' the old man replied. 'I just went up when the water went up, and down when the water went down."
- Carnelian Sage
We always have a choice in how we will meet life's more difficult moments. We can either resist and fight what is happening, thereby risking getting sucked in by the turmoil and drowned in our own misery, or we can ride the current, bobbing along with each wave until we are carried aloft through the rapids and into the peaceful and quiet stream at its end. That, after all, is what going with the flow really means.
maybe i just really need to go with life's flow.
*throbs @00:37 <3
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